Erica Putro
There are plenty of people who bring their individual prejudices into a public space and plenty who observe acts of bullying and intimidation and don’t want to get involved.
But, if you do want to get involved, there is upstanding, a way of intervening that allows the person on the receiving end of the abuse to get out of the situation and alerts the aggressor that someone does not approve of their actions.
Erica Putro, a volunteer with Mahoning Valley Queer Action, put on an upstander training session Sept. 10 for members of the Brookfield Rotary Club and others in the community at the Brookfield Public Library.
The LGBT+ community, people of color and immigrants are frequently “on the receiving end of a lot of pressure, stress, bad treatment right now,” Putro said. “The rest of us can do something about that. We can help protect them. We can help them stay safe.”
Upstanding is about de-escalating a situation, not trying to teach the aggressor about a misguided belief or action, Putro said.
“No one learns anything unless they come ready to learn,” she said. “When we’re upstanding, we’re not changing hearts and minds.”
There are a number of upstander intervention strategies. One of them is to directly approach the aggressor. You use a calm voice that never wavers no matter how the aggressor responds and inform them that their action is scaring children who are witnessing the event or disturbing others in the location where it is occurring, Putro said.
“In that moment what has happened is two things,” she said. “The person on the receiving end of what they’re (the agressor) saying has just gotten validation. And, they’ve got someone that has demonstrated for them that what they are on the receiving end of is wrong. You’re giving them a second to regroup and maybe even to say, ‘I’m outta here.’ What you’re also doing is you’re catching this aggressor off-guard. You’re calling them out and very few people, especially if you’re calm, especially if you’re polite and you’re matter-of-fact, very few people are going to say, ‘Well, yeah, that’s what I’m doing.’ There are a whole lot of people who don’t expect anyone to intervene, which is why they feel empowered enough to do this to someone in the first place.”
Another approach is to distract by creating a diversion.
“What we do is we walk up to someone and we say, ‘Oh, hey, aren’t you Bob Phillips’ little sister? I’m sure you are because you were dating my brother about 10 years ago,’” Putro said.
The upstander has created a false story that might confuse the aggressor and likely will break their rant.
“In that moment, you’ve disrupted the whole power situation,” she said. “In the time you’re occupying the aggressor, now, this person that definitely wants to get out of this situation might be able to finish doing their business and get the hell out of there. We just give a window of opportunity.”
The job of the upstander is not over when the person on the receiving end of the abuse walks away, Putro said. If there is an opportunity, ask them if they’re OK, she said, or at least “watch this person walk to their car, watch them get in the car and leave. And then our job is done.”
If you can, document the situation, such as by video or photos, and pass on whatever you collect to the person on the receiving end of the abuse, Putro said.
“The power of that information, it belongs to them,” she said. “It does not belong to us. We’re never gonna talk about the thing that we did to other people.”
Mahoning Valley Queer Action will hold an upstander training for people who want to teach others in upstander practices Oct. 21. The location of the training will be revealed shortly before the training date. Register for the event or learn more about MVCA at https://linktr.ee/mvqueeraction
